At the funeral reception a woman was aghast when I told her that the stroke was the best thing to ever happen to me. This is a longer explanation than I gave her.
Short version.
Stroke---> fatigue---> job performance coasting---> layoff---> job search---> new job, new location--> separation--->divorce---> new friends---> new purpose in life---> happy,happy,happy.
Long version.
Stroke caused massive fatigue and I was coasting in my job. In order to keep my job I needed to go back to work in 6 months, I worked half-time for 6 weeks, then fulltime, this was under a new director since my previous director/friend retired. Everything went swimmingly until she was promoted to vice-president and a new director came in. Subjective performance measures were used and I guess I failed one. Realized too late that the director had set me up to fail and was forced to retire. Which was interesting because when I applied for unemployment I got it. The question asked was 'Were you involuntarily released?' 'Yes'.
The answer to that question from the employer has to match yours in order to receive unemployment.
No local jobs were available, the two I interviewed for I did not get. Started looking in other states. Got and accepted a mainframe programming job offer from IBM in East Lansing, MI. I'm back to the work I loved, programming, which I'm damn good at. Moving to a new location by myself with no contacts in the area forced me to become a social butterfly and I liked that. It forced a logical look at my relationship with my wife, totally dysfunctional. Read the book, Stop Walking on Eggshells, to understand the dynamics involved. That led to divorce proceedings. I got numerous comments this past weekend how happy and smiling I've become.
I now have a purpose in life and that is to completely change everything to do with stroke, nothing in stroke is worth keeping, everything can be improved at least 200%, considering all the incompetent people in the field. The stroke also brought out my extreme arrogance, which is a good thing if you are trying to change the medical establishment. Read the book Myths of Happiness for why you are wrong about what makes you happy.
Its true, I'm happy,happy,happy. And its all because of the stroke.
Life is good.
AWESOME!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat! I hope you are wildly successful in your quest to fix all this crap we put up with. And you are exactly right: Life IS good!
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to think that the stroke was one of the best things that happened to me too - I'm starting to think that.
ReplyDeleteYou wrote this post 2 days after my stroke. I wish I would have found this post and your blog 2 years sooner than I did. It would have saved me a lot of research time, energy, & money spent on the wrong things. Near the end of my 56 day hospital stay a good friend stopped by with some great advice that I still think about often. "You have to find the joy in it". Easier said than done, but I took very seriously, because he had recovered from being in a comma 1 month and paralyzed for 6 months (not from a stroke, but a neurological disease). He is almost normal now.
ReplyDeleteI am almost 3 years post stroke and still getting better, so I keep working on recovery.