Science Says the Happiest People Choose All 3 of These Things

 

My story: I would still be leading a life of quiet desperation if still married.

Why my stroke was the best thing to ever happen to me

Well, at age 50 I had my stroke and the result of that is making me happy for the rest of my life.  Got divorced at age 58, fired at age 56. All leading to moving to Michigan and finding lots of new friendships.

Never worked for myself, not seen as a good thing.

(Life is definitely better as I age, I got divorced enhancing my happiness immeasurably. I'm retired and comfortably well off. And healthy as I can be post stroke. I'm going to live a long time yet.)

Science Says the Happiest People Choose All 3 of These Things

Research shows there are three huge sources of happiness in our lives—and in good news for entrepreneurs, they’re all connected.

No particular genius is required to know that primary relationships make a huge impact on happiness. As University of Virginia sociologist Brad Wilcox writes in his recent book Get Married:

Marital quality is, far and away, the top predictor I have run across of life satisfaction in America. When it comes to predicting overall happiness, a good marriage is far more important than how much education you get, how much money you make, how often you have sex, and, yes, even how satisfied you are with your work.But there’s a chicken-and-egg factor to consider. A study published in Journal of Economic Perspectives found that higher-income people are more likely to get married; a Brookings Institution study found that higher-income people are also less likely to get divorced.

That’s two eggs. A chicken is the 2021 Census Bureau report that found married adults tend to earn substantially more than unmarried adults, and have three times the net worth. Another chicken is the 2021 Bureau of Labor Statistics survey that found married couples spend about $10,000 less per person than unmarried people.

NIH study found

 that one-quarter of married couples say money is their biggest relationship issue. A Talker Research survey on behalf of Wise found the average couple has 58 money-related arguments each year. (If that’s the average, imagine what the high end of the scale looks like.)

So, yeah: Your primary relationship matters. Money matters.

 Get both in a good place, and happiness surely follows. As long as you feel good about one other aspect of your life. 

The power of agency

 Millions of people work for someone else.I’m in no way knocking being an employee; for 20 years, I was one. But when you’re an employee, you lack considerable agency. Loosely defined, agency is having the power, freedom, and ability to make your own choices—and to act on them. Every employee reports to someone; in fact, a number of CEOs have told me they feel they have less ability to get things done than they did when they were lower on the corporate totem pole.As an employee, your freedom is limited—and so is your upside. You may get annual raises, but in most cases 3 to 4 percent is the most you can expect. On the flip side, your downside is nearly unlimited: In spite of your best efforts, you can be laid off or fired. (After 17 years of “superior” ratings, I got fired/resigned over a paperwork misunderstanding and a heavy dose of internal politics.)