Not money, not fame: An 85-year-long study shows what makes us happiest

 

Your doctor needs to get you 100% recovered immediately before you lose the first two groups of friends that Aristotle describes.  DEMAND results or your doctor will use the craptastic saying; 'All strokes are different, all stroke recoveries are different'. You can't allow your doctor to hide and cower behind that useless saying.

I'm the happiest I've ever been and all because of my stroke.

Aristotle believes that there are three different kinds of friendship; that of utility, friendship of pleasure, and virtuous friendship. 

 and that you will likely lose all of the first two post stroke?

Not money, not fame: An 85-year-long study shows what makes us happiest

The Harvard Study of Adult Development one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies ever conducted, has sought to answer a fundamental question that resonates with each of us: What makes a good life?

When asked what they think would make them happiest, most people answered money or fame. This didn’t turn out to be the case.

People who are happiest and healthiest have strong, supportive bonds with family, friends, and their community. These relationships provide emotional support, enhance mental well-being, and even protect against physical health decline. The study highlights that it’s not just about having many relationships but nurturing those that are deep, trusting, and reliable.

“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. “Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

According to the study, the things that make people happiest are:

・Strong, supportive relationships: Quality over quantity; having reliable, emotionally supportive connections.

・Emotional resilience and positive outlook: Ability to cope with stress and view challenges as opportunities for growth. (I'm extremely good at this.)

The detrimental effects of loneliness were another striking finding. The study demonstrated that loneliness can be as harmful as smoking or alcoholism. Individuals who reported feeling lonely were more likely to experience physical and mental health decline, and they had a higher risk of premature death.

Waldinger emphasized this point in his widely viewed TED Talk, which you can see below. The implication is clear: nurturing meaningful relationships isn’t just beneficial—it’s vital for our health and longevity.

“When we gathered together everything we knew about them about at age 50, it wasn’t their middle-age cholesterol levels that predicted how they were going to grow old,” said Waldinger in a popular TED Talk. “It was how satisfied they were in their relationships. The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.”

Health, Lifestyle Choices, and “Social Fitness”

While relationships and mindset are crucial, the Harvard Study also points to the importance of health and lifestyle choices. The data reveals that maintaining a healthy weight, staying physically active, and avoiding smoking and excessive alcohol consumption are significant predictors of a long, happy life. Participants who adopted healthy habits earlier in life were more likely to enjoy better physical health and cognitive function as they aged.

Interestingly, the study also introduced the concept of “social fitness,” which involves regularly taking stock of one’s relationships and ensuring they are healthy and balanced.

Just like physical fitness, social fitness requires effort and commitment. Waldinger and Marc Schulz, the study’s associate director, argue that we should approach our relationships as living systems that need nurturing and exercise. This could involve consciously setting aside time to nurture meaningful connections or reflecting on whether we are devoting enough time to the people who matter most to us.

What you can take from this

The lessons from the Harvard Study of Adult Development are particularly relevant in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world. We all feel some pressure to achieve wealth, status, and success, but the study’s message is clear. The most important aspects of a good life are often the simplest: nurturing meaningful relationships, maintaining a positive and resilient mindset, making healthy lifestyle choices, and engaging with the community.

As for the study, even after more than eight decades, the Harvard Study of Adult Development continues to evolve and expand. The study now includes over 1,300 descendants of the original participants, with researchers exploring new areas such as the impact of technology on relationships, the role of genetics in aging, and the influence of social policies on quality of life.

Waldinger hopes to extend the study to include third and fourth generations, recognizing that this ongoing research offers a unique opportunity to deepen our understanding of human development across lifetimes.