Stroke rehab at Moriarties live jazz night

Don't do this, I'm not medically trained.  These are my ADLs, I expect answers.

1. I open my left hand and place it on my left thigh. It lasts about 5 minutes before spasticity sets in and pulls it off. I expect that every stroke therapist in the world should know the exact amount of time(hours, days, years) I need to practice that to cure that spasticity.
2. I passively flex my four fingers thousands of times. I need to know exactly how many times I need to do this to cure that spasticity. Should I be doing each finger separately? What about my thumb? 
3. Walking to the bathroom through crowded tables after a couple of beers is excellent balance therapy. I've done this dozens of times. My doctor should know exactly how many beers or wine I should have to make this balance therapy as effective as possible as fast as possible.
4. Clapping is totally impossible. What is the stroke protocol that will fix that?
5. Beer glass sweating recovery.
   A major problem which my therapists did not cover. Napkins stick to the bottom of the glass and you look extremely silly drinking beer with a napkin dangling in front of you. There is no way I can get my left arm/hand to stay on the table, much less place it in position to hold the napkin down. So the pinky finger gets the call to separate itself from hand and peel the napkin off.  The cardboard coasters do not have this problem since I can usually hit the stuck coaster against another friends glass to knock it off.
   There is an appalling lack of protocols to address this issue. It is impacting my social connections and thus ruining my stroke recovery.
6. I can't carry my beer glass and food to another table in one trip.