Failure of my medical team to get me cutting oranges and limes in pieces

 Oranges need to be cut because peeling oranges one-handed is extremely difficult. Limes need to be cut for gin and tonics.

With zero ability to hold either of these steady in my left hand, I'm forced to try to stab them and them work my way thru, turn around and complete the full cut in the sliced opening. With limes having a much harder skin it takes quite a few tries and picking the limes off the floor as they skitter out from under the point. 

Failure of my medical team to get me successfully out of the right side of cars

 In the hospital they had a car to practice getting in and out of. Only the passenger side and never the rear seats either. They had assumed from the start you would never drive again. What arrogance in not believing survivor's needs and abilities. Now because my left hamstring still does not function properly, I can't pull my left foot under me as I pivot to exit the right side of the car. This results in me having to grab the left leg with my right hand and jerk it out. 

Failure of my medical team to get me cross country skiing

 While I can actually still do this one-handed, it really only works if I'm on a groomed trail because that is enough force to keep the left foot from drifting to the left because of my damned spasticity. Where I'm at in central Michigan there are no groomed trails so skiing here is really slow, so my left ski doesn't go flailing off the trail. And I have to wear my old AFO to keep my ankle from rolling.  None of my stroke medical 'professionals' ever asked what I did for recreation so they could solve the problems of getting back there. 

As another stroke survivor said: 'The whole point of stroke rehab is to get you to accept that you won't recover and just have to deal with your disabilities!'

This is why I consider everything in stroke is a complete fucking failure! NO one is trying to solve anything.  You're all screwed if you have a stroke!

Send me hate mail on this: oc1dean@gmail.com. I'll print your complete statement with your name and my response in my blog. Or are you afraid to engage with my stroke-addled mind? No excuses are allowed, leaders solve problems, you must not be a leader if you're preparing excuses for not getting patients 100% recovered! And what is your definition of competence in stroke? Swearing at me is allowed, I'll return the favor.

Blood donation failure of my doctor and therapists

 I'm O negative(Universal donor) so I'm quite in demand to donate blood, I do it as often as I can. It has to be the unaffected(right arm) since you have to be able to lay your arm flat and squeeze a rubber ball every 4 seconds, neither of which I can do.  Also because any sneeze or cough causes the left arm to contract violently, that would ensure that the needle would bury itself where it shouldn't be. Specifically due to the massive failure of my doctor doing nothing and knowing nothing of stroke recovery. 
But the real problem is actually the red elastic wrap they put on to hold the cotton ball and tape in place at the end.  With no use of my left arm/hand at all, I have to resort to drastic measures to get the red wrap off. You put a long bladed knife in a Vice-grip and hold that between your knees and saw at the wrap, hoping not to cut your arm open. 

Failure once again of my doctor and therapists: coat wearing

 I don't yet have mittens that can be cinched at the wrist since otherwise with no use of the hand there is no way the mitten stays on. So today when walking in my nearby woods at 30 degrees with a north wind blowing my exposed left hand was getting cold.  That shouldn't be a problem, I just put it in my left jacket pocket. Not so, the left hand has no ability to even remotely get close to the pocket on its' own, so I have to try to get it in with my right hand, probably failed 6 times with my pinkie finger catching the zipper. After spending 15-20 minutes i finally got it inserted into the pocket. 

Failure at peanut butter spreading again

 My therapists tried to suggest compensation like nails in cutting boards or raised edges. I don't want compensation; I want recovery of my left hand. Right now it is pretty much totally useless due to spasticity and because of the infuriating opinion of Dr. William M. Landau that seems to have short-circuited spasticity research. Comeuppance can't come soon enough for him.

Spasticity After Stroke: Why Bother? Aug. 2004)

One-handed spreading of peanut fails spectacularly. At least this time it didn't go on the floor. There is no way I can get my left hand to stay in one position long enough to prevent the bread from going off the plate. My fingers won't open at all unless I use my right hand to pry them open, and then they just immediately close up again

.

At least jelly spreads pretty easily